The Stuff We Leave Behind
This is the second of a four-part series. Previously, I asked you to briefly consider your feelings towards end-of-life rituals and pressing concerns regarding your loved ones.
In the years immediately preceding my father’s death, my parents downsized. It is one of the best decisions they ever made. They lived and ran a business out of a farm property. There should be an old adage “give a man a barn, and he will fill it to the rafters with anything and everything he can get his hands on…”
By moving to a small house, one without barns and outbuildings, the amount of ‘stuff’ was significantly reduced. This also allowed my father to be an active participant in choosing what remained, what was disposed of and where it went.
This is our focus for today. The physical stuff we leave behind.
Notably, how to choose what you leave behind and how to ensure those plans don not burden your loved ones. For today, I am not including financial assets or housing in the discussion. That will be addressed in the next article. As with last time, I am asking you to consider some options and make notes as we go.
Possessions may seem crass to discuss – we aren’t supposed to be material beings, but to ignore the ever-growing volume of stuff that surrounds us is to increase the potential challenges for those you leave behind. Every single physical item in your possession, from a box of tissues to a vintage record player, needs to be disposed of after you die.
Every. Single. Item.
Let’s ensure those items go where they will be most valued. If you are thinking, ‘hey, anything anyone doesn’t want can just go to Goodwill’; I am going to stop you there. No. It doesn’t. It goes to the landfill.
Clearing through a person’s personal effects and belongings after they pass away is stressful and overwhelming. It feels - and is - invasive. If you do not help people in advance, your stuff is going in the garbage, simply because it becomes the path of least resistance.
Broadly speaking, every single thing you have in your possession can be classified three ways: items with shared value, items with potential value and everything else.
Shared Value
Odds are, you are surrounded by things you value. A piece of décor which makes you feel happy. A plant which you have nurtured for a decade. The value itself may differ, but you initially chose (or were gifted) an item and subsequently kept it, because you bestowed some value on it.
Items with shared value between you and a loved one or friend, might be an easy place to start today’s list. An old guitar you plan on giving to your niece. Photography equipment you know your son would appreciate. The collection of family recipes you have been copying out for the budding chef in your life. You may also possess a family heirloom which you will, in turn, pass down to the next generation.
Your initial list of items probably isn’t very long right now. Don’t worry, we’re not done with ‘shared value’ just yet.
There are further opportunities to establish shared value of treasured possessions: shared interests.
There came a time when my father was no longer able to paint or draw. While my brother is talented at drawing, my best artwork consists of fingerpainting, circa 1980. Neither of us could make use of his collection of art books, nor his supplies. My father connected with the owner of a locally run art school/store, who gratefully took the instructional books and unused supplies.
If your career or hobbies involve the use of tools, instruments or items which you possess and no one else in your life could use, seek out potential takers. Museums of all sizes are always looking for specific items to build their collections. And there is a museum for everything. Community groups, non profits, schools, clubs, hobbyist associations – all of these may benefit from a donation of the tools (or toys!) that enrich your life.
I am not suggesting you get started on disposing everything you own.
If you use that guitar – keep playing. Don’t get rid of those ballroom dancing shoes, RC cars or telescope if you make use of them. Enjoy life!
As you identify and add ‘shared interest’ items to your list, I do ask that you also make note of potential takers for those items. While you re able to, reach out to determine if they would be interested in donations. If they are not, they might point you in the right direction.
Potential Value
We’ll take a more critical look in this next category. Items you wish to pass down to others because they may accrue future value. Since financial assets are not included in this article, I’m talking about collectibles.
These range from a classic car to baseball cards to stuffed animals and (literally) anything in between. There is no telling what will be considered a ‘collectible’ within a person’s lifetime. The fact that you felt joy during the act of collecting makes these collections valuable to you. It has nothing to do with their market value. What is true about collectibles, is their resale value is determined by the ability to find a buyer.
No buyer? No monetary value. It becomes a keepsake.
That is a tough pill to swallow when you pour so much love and effort into building a collection. It is also gut wrenching to pack up these items, knowing how much they meant to someone, and not knowing what to do with them.
Sure, that comic book collection might have a handful of truly valuable issues. If you are hoping it will become a small source of funds for your loved ones, connect the dots for them. How will they know the appropriate value? Who do they reach out to?
What you can do. Ensure items are appraised, and locate a buyer or identify the market. If you do not wish to sell the collection before you pass away, be certain that information is easily located among your effects. If you plan to gift collectible items because of their potential monetary value, the onus is on you to make that connection. Otherwise, you risk your loved ones being taken advantage of and or/throwing out your collectibles, and adding guilt to their grief, because they do not know what to do with them.
If you have large collections or a large number of items, say, a barnful of random stuff you saved for decades, estate auctions are a useful option to consider.
Everything Else
What happens to all the rest?
The good news is, for today, you do not have anything more to add to your list. Items with shared or potential value is all I want you to consider. You are not responsible for itemizing every material object in your life. The fact is, the vast majority of the objects around fall into this category. Below are a few considerations for some of these items. Should you ever plan a downsizing of your own, or simply wish to investigate options in advance, you may wish to refer to this list.
I mention this because you may believe that larger items could easily be sold online, such as furniture or appliances. This places the onus back on your grieving friends and loved ones. As I will detail in the next article, assumptions like this can make life very difficult for those you leave behind.
Alternatively, as I noted before, some items can be donated. The needs of charitable organizations evolve. For years they became the dumping ground for people with broken and unsellable items who were unwilling to go to the landfill. Many of these places scaled down the number and type of items they accept.
Here is a short list of potential considerations to ensure good quality items do not end up at the county dump.
Clothing
Business wear is often sought after for new graduates and those transitioning to careers which now require office attire
Work wear. My father’s outerwear and work clothes,think heavy denim and flannel, was scooped up by our local ReStore (Habitat for Humanity) specifically because their clientele is often tradespeople.
Formal wear that is in very good condition may be sold via consignment
Outer wear may be accepted by organizations supporting homeless populations
Historically identifiable outfits (think: flapper dress, bell bottoms) may be accepted by live theatre groups or schools with a drama program who could use period costumes.
Office Supplies, Arts & Crafts
Students, schools, daycares, any non-profit organization with an office presence.
Healthcare & Medical Supplies
Unopened, unused hygiene items may be accepted by some food banks
Unopened, unused medical supplies may be accepted by some hospice organizations
Assistance devices (walker, cane, wheelchair) verify ownership as some of the more expensive items may be on a rental program. Return the rental units and cancel the agreement. Others may be donated or resold if functional.
Furniture, Appliances & Electronics
The Habitat for Humanity run ReStore in our area is fantastic. You can upload photos and descriptions of the furniture you wish to donate. They let you know what they can take and issue a tax form for your donation! There may be local alternatives you can seek for large furniture pickup. Electronics does note include laptops or mobile phones (we’ll get to those next time).
Outdoor Gear
Think camping or fishing equipment. Surplus stores may take some of these items.
Books
Libraries, school libraries, used book stores, hobbyist associations
Before wrapping up, remember that we are exploring these considerations to free up space in your life to live it to the fullest. By easing our way into a difficult topic - planning for your passing – you are addressing things now in order to live peacefully, knowing you have done all you can for others.
This is an important reminder. Once you’ve taken time to consider and make note of items with shared or potential value, get back to spending time with friends and family.
They value you, not your stuff.
Up next: we will revisit the considerations you identified in part one and two as we explore how you can reduce the confusion, as well as financial and technological challenges faced by those administering your wishes.
